Its not just about communication. Its about ‘build the relationship’

This article is based on my experience when I was a facilitator in an "online class" where there was one participant who had the opinion that speaking conveys messages, ideas and commands.Indeed, the participant did not explain in detail what communication meant from his point of view.But, I can already draw the conclusion that the meaning of communication is only that.

If TALKINC friends like reading articles on this website, Mas Erwin Parengkuan has discussed thoroughly about communication, the art of building relationships.So, now I ask, who here feels at all comfortable to start a conversation with other people?Hahaha, maybe there are those who admit it and those who don't.OK, let me give you an example.

I am a person who finds it difficult (lazy) to start a conversation with anyone.But because my job requires me to be a talk-active person, I force it so that this has become a habit every time I meet new people.Start a conversation.There are many books/literature that guide us how to start a conversation.For TALKINC Friends who feel "it really relates to me", you can try it.

I always start conversations from the surroundings, starting from commenting on simple topics such as the weather, traffic jams, or even where we meet the person we are talking to.Why any of these topics to start a conversation?Because a simple topic is easy for many people to understand and comment on, and at that time we are looking for "chemistry" with the person we are talking to.Enter the next stage, namely looking for similarities such as favorite foods.Yes, this topic is the easiest to bring into conversation as an "ice breaker" while we look for similarities with the person we are talking to.

When I worked as a Marketing Manager, my task was to open collaboration with various parties.One of them was with a wine producer and I was offered to take part in a wine tasting.Wine tasting is of course a special event that is usually attended by people who are related and have a lot of knowledge about wine.That same evening I learned basic terms about wine so I could be in-line when chatting of course.During the wine tasting, I had to go back and forth to the restroom because my face was red and I tried to wash my face so it wouldn't show.Because this was for business purposes, I tried to survive and accompany the wine producers until late at night.During the wine tasting there was no business talk whatsoever.After a few days, the collaboration proposal was finally approved and we started working together.What is the meaning of this story?Sometimes we need to make adjustments to achieve our goals —in this case a business deal.This doesn't mean we are 180o different people.

Another story comes from my friend.He said he had to buy a tennis racket just because the next day he had to accompany a client to play tennis.When playing tennis, he was only able to play for 15 minutes because he had never played tennis.However, from there arose a sense of respect and reluctance from the client towards my friend so that a business agreement was reached.The essence of these two stories is that it would be more optimal if we could touch the hearts of the people we are talking to.This means we are serious about building relationships.

There is a quote from Nelson Mandela which means that when we speak, use language that can touch the heart of the person we are talking to.

TALKINC Friends, maybe you are fluent in various foreign languages.But does the “language” you use suit the person you are talking to?

Author: Fernando Edo – TALKINC Main Facilitator

Editor: Alyezca Disya Rahadiz