Automatic Communication or Reflective Communication?

"Automatic & Reflective" These 2 words indicate a person's response —in everything, be it in actions, ways of thinking, and of course communicating.I remember a book that I once read entitled "Thinking Fast and Slow" from Daniel Kahneman, author of the world famous book that won the Nobel Memorial Prize: Economic Sciences.The book tells about how our brain responds to two systems, namely system 1 which is fast and system 2 which is slow.My brain's thought process expanded and searched for further meaning after reading the book.

Finally I discovered the meaning of Automatic, namely: uncontrolled, no effort required, associated, fast, unconscious and expert.Reflective, namely: controlled, requires effort, deductive, slow, fully aware and follows the rules.How can we get better from time to time, not automatically but more reflectively.Examples that often occur in these 3 aspects of life (thinking, acting and communicating).If we always think automatically, based on what we feel at that time, the results may always be reactive without consideration and possibly without planning.For example, in a situation where we have to answer a question or ask a question, the label that comes from the person we are talking to is that we are known as someone who is outspoken.Habits that might be thought to have no influence whatsoever will in fact become a person's character that will become increasingly stronger.Let's just say that Rinta is a figure who is known to be very spontaneous, expressive and scary.Every input that comes to him, he will fight, without digesting/reflecting first.In the end, everyone around him was too lazy to meet and talk to him because he always felt he was right, knew best and was the most persistent.Even though he is mature, his attitude, thoughts and way of speaking do not reflect his mature age.

I used to be famous for being outspoken, maybe now I still have that habit that sometimes goes out of control.Some close friends say I am a person who doesn't want to be defeated.Competitive figure.I gradually realized this shortcoming, I certainly don't want to be labeled as someone who won't give in.Duh, that's really sad... Gradually I started to control myself, not being too dominant and listening more.It was me who had the awareness to change my bad habits.What about the people out there who are still shackled or don't even have awareness of this?After all, we can't change them all.It's better for us to focus on improving ourselves to become better people over time.

Of course, the wealth of knowledge that we have will make someone have various references, the wealth of information that someone has will make them more reflective in how they present themselves.People who look intelligent, like to share their knowledge whenever wherever they are, are people who fall into the Automatic category.Because when I reflect back based on my experience of meeting people who are reflective with the wealth of information they have, they don't pretend to know, don't become "preachers" and really know when to act and talk to us.

In my opinion, honing reflective habits is very important.Like thinking first before acting, thinking within yourself first before communicating is the best exercise so that someone can activate the functions of their left brain, right brain and middle brain.In this way, we can be more responsive, calmer, when we know when to press the automatic button for things that we already know correctly, but on the other hand we are not reactive.So that we become pleasant individuals.

Written by Erwin Parengkuan