Building Relationships without Expectations

Humans have a variety of characters and of course there are many factors that influence the formation of their character, one of which is the environment or job demands.There is a very senior leader, who is 5 years away from retirement and has dedicated his time and energy to the company he started working at until he reached the top position as Chief Financial Officer.People who struggle with numbers in their work are, on average, identical to people who are rigid and very organized.Of course, especially when it comes to the big company he leads.Not a single number can be wrong because it will result in fatalities and major losses for the company.Stiff, firm and facial expressions tend to be flat.So that's what it looks like from my coachee.For this reason, he needs this coaching session to help him become a figure who represents his company and can share stories in large forums.

At the beginning of the session, it was very visible that he was stiff, cold and spoke matter-of-factly.It is very unsuitable when this quality is brought to the stage, of course it becomes uninteresting and boring.Session after session, the stiffness faded away.The sentence in this title came to me spontaneously when we were talking about building a relationship without expectations.I myself was shocked by the words that were spoken.Just imagine, how can someone in building a relationship not have expectations?

At that time I accidentally saw an interview between a 97 year old senior and a reporter on the street who asked;"What's the secret to having a long life?"(he looked fit beyond his age), and answered that "To live long we must be able to let go of attachments, things that we cannot change, we must let go of so that we can accept whatever we see and expect from others."Perhaps, this statement stuck in my memory so that when the coaching session was taking place, it just came out of nowhere.

Coachee sayapun mempertanyakan — kenapa bisa begitu? Ketika kita dengan hati tulus untuk terbuka dan bercerita dari hati, kita akan dengan mudah melontarkan apa yang ada dari hati dan pikiran untuk dapat diterima oleh hati dan pikiran lawan bicara / audiens kita. Lantas, ketika kita tidak memiliki ekspektasi apapun melainkan hanya dengan niat berbagi, tentu kita akan lebih ringan menjalankan tugas kita di hidup ini, termasuk dalam berkomunikasi. Seperti pepatah mengatakan “giving without expecting!” sebuah kata-kata yang powerful mengandung makna sangat dalam yang saat ini mutlak kita lakukan bersama.

Try to think about this sentence and reflect carefully, the many intersections that occur in communication in our lives occur because we often have high expectations of other people, especially those closest to us.In a coaching technique that I learned, we do not have any power over other people, and if other people want to change of course this awareness must come from within them.We can't change people but we adapt.For this reason, the title of this article will help us live our lives more easily and of course be happier.If we fail to build relationships, of course we will become disappointed and angry.We should continue to give without expecting anything in return, for a more prosperous life.If our hearts and minds are prosperous, we will carry out our functions optimally and continue to focus on improving ourselves.Because that's all we can do, control ourselves and improve ourselves continuously.

Written by Erwin Parengkuan

Editor: Alyezca Disya Rahadiz